A Night Alone
by bemj11
Summary: Alice told Jasper he was sleeping in his room tonight. How does she deal with spending the night without him when it's her own fault? One-shot


It was dark, it was night, and everyone else had gone to bed for the night. Not to sleep, certainly, being that we were vampires and had no need for sleep, but you know what I mean. Esme and Carlisle had gone to bed, and Emmett and Rosalie had gone to bed, and Edward had taken Bella home for the night.

And here I was, alone in my room, lying on a bed I didn't use. Well, didn't sleep on, anyway. I was alone, and it was partly my fault. Partly. Mostly it was Jasper's.

Idiot. He didn't realize how close he had come to getting himself killed before Emmett had stepped in. He had been lucky.

I sighed. He had meant well, of course. He always did, at least, he did whenever he wasn't in that blood-craving frenzy that left him with absolutely no control over his own actions. Whenever he was sane he meant well.

And it hadn't really even been his idea. He had been reluctant to go along with it, but had let himself be talked into it.

I sighed, missing him terribly.

_You're sleeping in your room tonight._

Had I really told him that? How could I have? We hadn't spent a night apart of our own free will since we had been married; he had refused to sleep in the same bed before then. He was such and old-fashioned gentleman.

And I had sentenced him to a night alone. Why?

My mind went back to those visions. Bella, pale, white, with blood trickling down her throat. Him following, blood on his face. Edward, furious beyond reason, tearing my beloved Jasper apart, who might try evading him, but wouldn't attack someone he had come to accept as family.

That was why I had kicked him out. Because of those visions. Visions he had caused. Did he realize how much pain he had caused me in those few seconds after Bella screamed?

Of course not. And that was why I had kicked him out. I was angry, partly, that he would go along with something like that, and angry at what I had been forced to see as a result.

But I also didn't want him to know. To know how close such a small thing had come to ripping our family apart, for it would have. I shook my head. It would upset him. That was the main reason he wasn't here.

I missed him. There was an ache where he wasn't. He was downstairs; to him there was no point in going to his room for the night. We used mine at night, his was a place to store his stuff, a sanctuary from Emmett when he wanted to read undisturbed, a place to remember the past and try to come to terms with it.

The past. I stiffened as I remembered the last time Jasper had been left alone. He had assured me he would be fine, but by the time I returned two hours later, he was sitting on the floor in his room, desolate and lost, his painful and depressing past pulling him into a state of self-loathing so vile I had rushed home to him as soon as I saw-

I shook my head. He wasn't alone, though. Not really. There were still people, or vampires, I suppose I should say, in the house, people who would hear if he lost it, or feel if he let his emotions run away with him. For that reason, he would be fine.

Even if the ache between us worsened with every passing second. I listened, he was lying on the couch, watching TV. The volume was on low so as not to disturb anyone, but I recognized that he was watching the history channel again.

I frowned. He had shut his emotions off from me. Usually he projected them to me without even thinking about it, so I could always tell how he was feeling just as he could me, though when together we could read each other as if we were simply extensions of each other, even without our gifts.

But tonight he had shut me out. I wondered why. Was he angry with me for not letting him in? For being angry with him? For being away?

I shifted restlessly, and knew I couldn't stay away any longer. I slipped noiselessly off the bed and into the hall, gliding down the stairs in silence.

I peeked timidly into the living room. He wasn't actually watching the TV. He lay on his back, his eyes closed. I doubted he would even notice if I were to waltz in and turn it off.

I remained where I was, my attention focused entirely on him. We were always focused on each other when together, and kept a sort reserve of attention that noticed everything going on in the rest of the world, but now I was oblivious to all else.

He was tense, stiff. His jaw was clenched, his eyes tightly closed. He shifted slightly, and his eyes opened, staring through the ceiling, seeing nothing.

He wasn't blocking me out, I realized. What I had been feeling was emptiness. Nothingness. There was nothing there for him to project because he wasn't feeling anything at the moment.

I would have cried if it were possible. Had I done this? Why hadn't he said anything? Had he been afraid to, afraid that I would have kicked him out again anyway?

I knew he didn't feel he deserved me, but I had thought we had gotten past that.

"Jasper?" I asked timidly, breaking the silence. His eyes focused on me in seconds, and I felt a surge of hopefulness that quickly faded. He waited for me to speak. I swallowed nervously, and fidgeted slightly. It was such and un-vampirelike thing to do, but I couldn't help it. I spoke again, softly. "It's awfully lonely up there, Jasper." I loved saying his name. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. I could get lost in it.

I almost had just now. I waited for him to say something, anything.

"Jasper?" I asked, and he stirred, slightly. Then he held his hand out to me. I glided over and placed my hand in his. "Can I sleep with you tonight, Jasper?" I asked timidly. He smiled and pulled me down on top of him, right there on the couch, and wrapped his arms around me.

"You aren't angry with me?" He murmured, and I could hear the heartbreak in his voice. Of course he'd feel he deserved this for upsetting me. He was like that. I could feel as his emotions suddenly returned to him, and was glad he didn't have to feel that emptiness anymore.

"Never, dear." I told him, staring into his eyes. He raised his eyebrows. "Well, maybe a little bit." I admitted. "But you didn't mean it."

Mean what? He didn't have to speak the question. I heard it anyway. I sighed. I didn't want him to know what I had seen.

He understood. But he knew that it would make me feel better to tell him. If I didn't it would just continue to bother me.

_Don't feel guilty._ I thought to him.

_Never. _He assured me.

_Liar. _He smiled, hesitantly. I shared the visions with him, and found myself calm against his horror.

_Alice._ He was sorry, so, so, sorry. He hadn't realized. I reassured him. It was fine, everything had turned out all right, and after all, it had patched things up between him and Bella.

He acknowledged that was true, assuming that she wasn't now the one beating herself up for causing problems. She had seemed fine, though. A little guilty, perhaps, but nothing too severe.

I kissed him on the cheek, and he leaned slightly to kiss me on the lips. I sighed happily, and nearly jumped as his emotions altered to match mine. I stared into his eyes, losing myself entirely in him. Nothing else mattered, nothing else was important.

Suddenly he was on top of me, and neither of us were sure how it had happened. Neither of us cared. I hugged him closer to me, and kissed him again. He returned my kiss, and I was soon unbuttoning his shirt.

He reached for my blouse, and scowled. "Oh, go away." He grumbled.

That broke the spell. "What?" I asked, confused. Why was I on the floor, and why was the couch overturned on us?

"It's your own fault." Jasper growled. "If you had just left us alone, we wouldn't be in this situation."

I blinked, and abruptly began to be aware of what was going on beyond the two of us.

Emmett and Edward had turned the couch over on us. It was morning, and even Bella was here. The rest of the family had discovered our oblivion, and Emmett and Edward had decided to take advantage of it.

I sighed. Jasper was up and buttoning his shirt in one seamless motion. He set the couch back upright and extended a hand to lift me up. I took it, and stood. I smiled at him.

_I missed you._

_I missed you too. Please don't ever do that again. I couldn't bear it._

_Nor could I, Jasper. Nor could I._

Author's note: Sort of an after story, based on the events in my _Jasper_ fiction, but it isn't necessary to have read that already to enjoy this, I think. Hope you enjoyed. Review please, and have a look at my other stuff, too!

Also, I know they aren't mind readers, either of them, but bear with me. I like the idea of them being that close, knowing each other so well that they know each other's thoughts.

Disclaimer: I still don't own this, just in case you mistakenly believed I thought I did.


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